Lent

Lent.  I would have to say the last Lent participated in was probably 6th grade.  So now MANY years later - I am faced with good old Lent.

 

I tried to explain this concept to Gman.  When he was told that he should be giving up something important - he looked confused.  When I suggested he give up dessert or his favorite video game - you would have thought I had told him he was losing a limb.  This is new to him and since it isn't mandatory in our church - I am not forcing the issue this year.  He is still new to all of this.

 

Then it came time for me.  Jesus gave us the ultimate sacrifice of his life - surely I can give up something for forty days.  Social media was out, because I do have another blog and  Facebook and Twitter are key instruments in building my brand.  It was suggested that I give up Coke (the cola - just for clarification).  I won't lie - I am addicted to it.  The sugar, the caffeine and the fizz.  Just thinking about it made me anxious.  I had a very big interview that morning and really didn't feel I would be my best with an earth shattering pounding headache from withdrawal.  Coke was nixed.  I am however trying to cut it back and drink one water for each Coke.

 

OK with that out - I thought hmmm...I know CHOCOLATE.  I have been binging on it lately due to insane amounts of stress in my life.  Of course as that thought popped into my head, I was shoving Girl Scout Peanut Butter Patties in my mouth to counter the anxiety over the Coke.  (Mental note - for my waist line's sake - I should home school Gman.  I can't really turn down a Girl Scout who is yelling "HI Gman's mom" as I am coming out of the grocery store).  So much for chocolate.

 

I needed a tangible sacrifice.  String Cheese.  Sargento String Cheese to be exact.  You are laughing or scoffing - but I kind of have an addiction to that too.  Yes - I am a stress eater,  I justify it as my calcium intake because milk without chocolate sauce actually makes me sick, This is bad news for a gal who loves cereal, but I digress.  When I am stressed  and not going after chocolate; that is my go to comfort snack.  Good bye cheesy friend.  See you in April.

 

That wasn't enough though,  Miss A from Church sent me this Twenty Things to Give Up for Lent.  If you aren't familiar with my other blog - then you don't know my history of self esteem issues.  I don't know how she could know how close to home it would hit; but it was after reading it, I knew I needed a non-tangible.  This is where the REAL sacrifice comes in.

 

For the next 40 days  I cannot berate myself over my looks or my weight.  I shall limit myself deprecating humor that is detrimental to my psyche. There shall be no self loathing/hating/battling my inner demons.  I shall be grateful for what I have instead of being envious of what I don't.  For the next forty days - I will love myself.  If you know me - you know this is the hardest battle of all.  I am my own worst enemy.  I guess I have one more thing to add to my prayers,